The letter

So while all of this navy nonsense is going on I've been talking to this chica named Alyson. Shes from the middleofnowhere, Maine. Hi Alyson. We were kinda seeing each other before i was sent off to boot camp, in which i abruptly ended things with her, on extremely bad terms. (i'm sorry) but she is a pretty neat person. I couldnt stop thinking about her throughout all this time after i signed this contract. We talked every meow and then, but it would just be like a hey, or a ho. Ho hey. Needless to say, there was something i needed to do. So I wrote a letter one day- thoughts, feelings, apologies all on paper and sent it her way. Took like 4 days to get to maine, but then again it is in canada. But we started talking on the phone throughout this time, in which i thoroughly enjoyed. Im usually not a phone person, but cant get enough of it lately. So we started talking a lot more, and it was amazing. I question the navy sometimes and what the heck im doing in it, but i feel like there is a bigger picture. One that i may not be able to see yet. It's been helping me work on myself, and better myself, so i can be a better person around people. cuz it always starts with you and radiates out. and ive found a lot of interesting things about myself by doing all of this adventuring. It feels good and right, like im just building a better me. Heart to heart time here- when i was younger, ill admit it, i was a very obese child, didnt have many friends. Wasnt until high school when i started thriving on friendships and held on to them- the good ones with all my might. And by doing this, it didnt make any room for anyone else in my life. Me, not ever having the love and comfort of friends, wanted to keep these friends and never lose them, even if that meant leaving some girl i liked over. And i'm pretty sure this pattern continued over the years. But the turning point for me was the fact that i have a such good relationship with my friends, that ill know theyll always be there for me no matter what, and (sorry chris) i can always make new friends, cuz i just love talking to people and getting to know everyone. By joining the navy, i literally let go of everything, everyone that i have and just peaced out. I think it was a journey to find myself, and yeah it may have been a little bit ugly, i think im beginning to understand. I have learned that i can live a weekend, or two without my friends. I have to, i have no choice at all. Yeah it was rough the first couple weeks here in cali, heck, even bootcamp. But when people go through the same experiences as you, thats when you bond and become friends. Now i have a ton of friends here in cali, and am well liked. it feels great.
Well, dont think ive ever written that down before, but i think i hit the nail on the head on that one. Anyway, now that ive discovered these things about myself, i can focus clearly- on what really matters, like Alyson. Things seem to be looking really nice on the road ahead, so we shall see what the future holds. Hopefully these words dont come back to bite me in the butt. but i said it, so there. #rushitloveit